Help i dating someone with a ton of student debt
For a single, unwed person, the paperwork for an IDR (income-driven repayment) plan is fairly simple.
You share your own personal information about yourself and your finances.
Joint finances are hard enough even without the added complication of disproportionate student debt.
Jeffrey Dew, an associate professor at Utah State University, has found that financial disagreements are a strong predictor of divorce—couples who argued over finances several times a week were more than 30 percent more likely to divorce than those who only did so less than once a month.
Most of them agreed — finding out someone we’re dating had K in debt would be a red flag, but if it was for student loans, that would be one thing.
How are you going to walk away from the love of your life if you find out he has K of CC debt?
Student loan debt that your spouse incurred before you’re married will almost never be considered your liability.
An exception to this is if you cosigned on your future spouse’s student loan(s) or if you refinance the student debt with your spouse after you’re married.
Chris Davis, a 28-year-old videographer and graphic designer, had been working hard to pay off his student-loans when he and his girlfriend Monique Seitz got engaged.“We got closer to picking a wedding day,” Davis recalls, “and Monique jokingly said ‘We're not getting married until you figure out your loans.’” Though Davis and Seitz both had some debt, Davis had significantly more.So they really had to have a frank discussion about the fact that one person had a lot more discretionary income than the other, although their salaries were very similar.”Carr says that couples can collide on how to deal with student-loan debt.Some partners are aggressive on payments, while others have different strategies whether it’s using income-based repayment plans or waiting for loan-forgiveness.“Conflicts arise over money personalities: who's the spender, who's the saver, who likes to track their spending down to the very penny, and who is more of a flier—meaning they just let what happens happen,” explains Carr.
“Just because you do things differently and just because you go about saving or spending or paying down debt differently doesn't mean you can't exist within the same couple.
You don't have to change the other person.”In the end, Seitz and Davis decided they would share household bills and rent, but keep their student-loan debts separate. (Davis has nine years to go on his loans.)Seitz is now Monique Seitz-Davis, and recommends that talking about the hard stuff goes a long way: “Money is an uncomfortable topic of conversation, and it’s something we don’t talk about enough as young people. don’t be afraid that if things get a little hairy in those conversations.