Reformed view on dating
Somehow, over the years, we have adopted the world’s mentality that dating is simply a part of growing up, and hopefully we have taught our young people enough of the Bible to govern their actions. Obviously if we let them out that door, we have failed them and our Lord on a rather large scale.Fathers, it is your job to protect your daughters, in the face of tears, arguments, and fainting fits.A broken heart is no small matter, as so many of us know from experience. Contemporary society had fostered this with the rise of feminism, Hollywood’s romantic expressions of “love”, the accessibility of transportation (cars, trucks, vans), couple oriented dances, and the deterioration of the fathers roll in both family and culture.This is the cause of untold pain in our world today, and Christians need to respond to affairs of the heart with respect, with care, and with the wisdom that God is able to give. In absence of the father, a Courtship is the biblical model we are to follow.And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.…Read more → Europeans and Americans have been tremendously blessed by God as the predominant preservers of Christianity for the last 2,000 years.If marriage is in the picture at all, then dating is a tryout for a potential partner.The idea is to start living as if you were married and see how things go.
Yet lately, as I kiss them goodnight and tuck them into bed, there comes to my mind a very critical question, “what will happen to them in the years to come as they discover boys? Thankfully my youngest girl is only 4 and she thinks boys are pests and only slightly above the worms they chase her with. But my 9 year old is only a few years away from what the world calls the “dating scene”, and my heart trembles with what I see as an example within the Reformed Church.
The intimacy of romance – both physical and emotional intimacy – is one that binds two people tightly together.
If we don’t treat our own and others’ hearts carefully, there will be a lot of pain and bleeding. Not only does this system teach our youth to give themselves emotionally to someone whom they will never marry, it sets the groundwork for divorce by cultivating a dissatisfaction for what has been given to them, longing to try something different or “better”.
Dating usually begins in the mid to late teens, whereas courtship begins at the time just to marriage.
Dating is “having fun” with the opposite sex with no strings attached.We are not given to them to be popular, or their friends, More harm comes to many of us through dating than in any other way.